Dr. Solomon Laktineh

Article

How to build a bedtime routine that actually works

The simple, predictable routine that settles almost any child. Calm, doable, and rooted in 45 years of pediatric practice.

A solid bedtime routine is one of the highest-leverage tools in parenting. After forty-five years in pediatrics, I have watched families transform their evenings, their mornings, and their kids' moods by getting the bedtime routine right. The good news is that it is not complicated. The hard part is consistency.

Why a routine works

A predictable sequence of cues tells a child's nervous system that sleep is coming. The brain releases melatonin, the body slows, and the transition into sleep becomes much easier. Without those cues, the brain stays in daytime mode and falling asleep becomes a battle.

The five-step bedtime routine

  1. Set a target bedtime, then back up 30 minutes

    If you want lights out at 8:00, the routine starts at 7:30. The transition out of the day starts with the routine, not with hitting the pillow.

  2. Bath or wash up

    A warm bath helps signal the end of the day. If a bath is too much every night, washing the face and brushing teeth is enough.

  3. Pajamas in a calm, low-light room

    Lower the lights in the bedroom. Avoid bright overhead lights and screens. The visual cue of a darkening room helps the brain start to wind down.

  4. One or two books, on paper

    Reading together is the highest-value part of the routine. Connection plus calm. Two short books beats one long one for most kids.

  5. Lights out, brief check-in, then leave

    A short check-in like a song, a verse, or a few quiet words about the day. Then say goodnight and leave. Predictability is the goal.

What to leave out

Screens in the last hour. Roughhousing right before bed. Big snacks late in the evening. Lengthy negotiations. Open-ended decisions like which pajamas or which book, when your child is already past the edge of tired. The routine should remove decisions, not add them.

How to repair a broken routine

If your bedtime routine has slowly fallen apart, do not try to fix it gradually. Reset it. Pick a clean new bedtime, a clean new routine, and stick with it for at least two weeks. Tell your child the night before. Most families I work with see real improvement within five to seven nights of consistency.

Frequently asked

How long should a bedtime routine be?
Twenty to thirty minutes is the sweet spot for most children. Longer than that tends to drift and lose the calming effect. Shorter often does not give the child time to wind down.
Should we do baths every night?
Not required, but baths help most kids signal the end of the day. If a nightly bath is too much, two or three a week is fine. The consistency of the order matters more than the bath itself.
Can we read on a tablet at bedtime?
I would not. Even with low-blue-light settings, the alerting effect of an interactive screen tends to delay sleep. Stick to paper books for the bedtime read.
What if my child stalls?
Stalling is normal. Hold the routine kindly. Pick two reasonable extras like one more song or one more sip of water, and stop there. Predictability is the cure for stalling, not negotiation.
What if our bedtime routine has fallen apart?
Reset it. Pick a new bedtime, a new routine, and stick to it for at least two weeks. Most fallen-apart routines come back together within that window if the parents stay consistent.

Related reading: sleep training by age, screen time by age, and childhood anxiety. Want help with your specific child? Book a consultation.

Want a calmer bedtime?

A private 30-minute call. Walk through your evening. Leave with a routine you can actually hold.