Dr. Solomon Laktineh

Article

Back to school anxiety, calmly handled

What back-to-school anxiety actually looks like, what makes it worse, and the small set of moves that genuinely help. From 45 years of practice.

The first weeks of school each year bring a wave of anxiety in pediatric offices everywhere. After forty-five years in pediatrics, I can say two things with confidence. Most back-to-school anxiety eases within two weeks if it is handled calmly. And the way the parent handles the goodbye is the single biggest variable in how quickly that happens.

What back-to-school anxiety looks like

Stomach aches. Headaches. Trouble sleeping the night before school. Tears at drop-off. Reluctance to talk about school in the evenings. Asking many times whether they have to go tomorrow. Some children regress in behavior, becoming clingier or more emotional in general.

What helps

  1. Restart the school sleep routine a week early

    An exhausted child is an anxious child. Move bedtime back to school-night timing seven days before school starts.

  2. Visit the school once before the first day if possible

    Walk the route. Look at the classroom from outside. The reduction in unknowns reduces the anxiety significantly.

  3. Tell the teacher

    A short, calm note before school starts. Teachers see this every year and can quietly help your child without singling them out.

  4. Keep mornings predictable and calm

    Same wake time, same breakfast, same goodbye. Predictability is the antidote to anxiety.

  5. Short, warm, confident goodbye

    Long, drawn-out, anxious goodbyes make it worse. Hug, say I love you and I will see you at three, walk away. The tears almost always stop within minutes.

What makes it worse

Hovering at the gate. Repeatedly returning to console a crying child. Sneaking out to avoid the goodbye. Letting your child stay home for a non-illness anxiety day. Long phone conversations rehearsing the worry the night before. Each of these reinforces, instead of reduces, the anxiety.

When to bring in a pediatrician

If anxiety is interfering with attendance after the first three weeks. If your child is having panic attacks. If anxiety is bleeding into evenings, weekends, and other parts of life. If you are feeling out of options. A consultation can give you a clear plan.

Frequently asked

How long does back-to-school anxiety usually last?
For most kids, the anxiety eases significantly within the first two weeks of school as routine returns. If it persists past three to four weeks or interferes with attendance, a closer look is warranted.
Should I let my child stay home if they are anxious?
Generally no, unless they are physically ill. Each missed day tends to make the next day harder, not easier. Brief exposure works better than avoidance.
What if my child cries every morning?
Stay calm. Keep the goodbye short and warm. The morning tears almost always stop within minutes of you leaving. Teachers see this every year and are usually excellent at helping.
Should I tell the teacher?
Yes. A short, calm note to the teacher about the anxiety is one of the most useful things you can do. They can quietly support your child without making a big deal of it.
When is it more than back-to-school nerves?
If your child has stomach aches every morning, refuses to enter the building, has panic attacks, or anxiety extends to weekends and evenings, it is worth a pediatric conversation.

Related: childhood anxiety, anxiety consultations, and bedtime routine. Book a consultation.

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